Dinner

Dinner in my apartment usually goes something like this:

[waiter] "Dinner for 1 sir?"
[miles] "Do you see anyone else?"
[waiter] "very good sir."
[miles] "Hey can I sit on that balcony out there?"
[waiter] "Do you have reservation?"
[miles] No.
[waiter] "You can sit anywhere inside."
[miles] "There's only 1 table."
[waiter] "Excellent choice sir.
Let me tell you about tonight's specials...
Tonight we have fresh garden burgers, imported from Sweden, lightly seared in olive oil, topped with a slice of Jarlsberg cheese and placed on a toasted whole wheat bun. This is accompanied by our special crinkle cut spicy bbq french fries, served with ketchup.
[miles] "Heinz 57?"
[waiter] "Yes sir, Heinz 57."
[miles] "In a squeeze bottle?"
[waiter] "yes"
[miles] "OK, bring me one special, including all the little tiny fries that get burned in the oven - and hold the mayo."
[waiter] "very good sir, and to drink?"
[miles] "Sprite Zero"
[waiter] "excellent choice"
[miles] under his breath - "of course it's excellent that's why I chose it you idiot!"
[waiter] "pardon?"
[miles] "nothing"
[waiter] "and for dessert?"
[miles] "chocolate chip cookies?"
[waiter] "I'll check the zip-lock baggie in the snack cupboard."
[miles] "sweet"